OTVORENO PISMO KONOBARA IZ BUDVE: Bakšiš nije grad u Turskoj!

Društvenim mrežama se kao virus proširilo otvoreno pismo jednog konobara koji je rekapitulirao utiske sa svog posla i mišljenje o svojim mušterijama.
S dolaskom septembra smanjuje se i broj turista, a sezonski radnici imaju sve više vremena za razmišljanje i rekapitulaciju sezone koja se bliži svom kraju. Ove godine uslužili su mnoštvo gostiju, neki su ostavili dobar utisak, drugima je ipak potrebno objasniti neke stvari.
Baš iz ovih razloga jedan konobar je na Fejsbuk stranici posvećenoj svim sezoncima odlučio da nekoliko dobronamjernih savjeta svim gostima, koje sad masovno dijele drugi konobari u regionu.
Neki su i dodali specifičnosti svoje sredine, odnosno grada, pa je jedan konobar iz Budve napisao:
– Nakon nekoliko godina radeći kao konobar u kafiću/disku/restoranu, reći ću vam samo sitnice, zbog koji ispadate glupi.
Nema potrebe da vičete KONOBAAAR da vas svi čuju, niste u šumi. Sasvim je dovoljno da dignete ruku.
Nema potrebe da naglašavate da ste iz Nikšića ili sa Cetinja, ja to znam čim vas vidim. Mada, vama najmanje zamjeram jer ostavljate najviše bakšiša.
Inače, bakšiš nije grad u Turskoj.
Nema potrebe da me zovete “viđi mali” ili “đetiću” da bi drugi gosti znali da ste Podgoričanin.
Inače, van Podgorice, konobari ne znaju šta vam je “dojč” pa kažite – veliki espresso sa mlijekom.
Ako naručite kafu, dobićete malu kafu. Inače, ne čitamo misli.
Tanjirić od kafe nije tanjir na kom jedete.
Kada naručite “sok”, dobićete Koca-Kolu, ako ne naglasite koji želite.
Svaki put kad kažete “bilo šta” ili “od bilo čega”, nemojte kasnije da gunđate da vam se ne sviđa, dobijete ono što najslabije prolazi.
Ako naručite čaj od “bilo čega”, dobićete kamilicu.
Konobar nije di-džej. Nismo tu da ispunjavamo muzičke želje, ako vam ne odgovara muzika, ima drugih kafića.
Ako je gužva i dođete na šank da naručite, nećete dobiti prvi piće.
Kad vam naplaćujemo, pitanje: “Jesam ja jeo ovdje?” je tako glupa fora i dosadni ste s tim.
Ako djevojke odbiju piće koje ste poslali, nema potrebe da idem ponovo da ih pitam šta će da popiju.
Ako nema mjesta, nema potrebe da pitate ima li mjesta.
Nemojte nikad sami da pokušavate da uzimate s tacne piće. Izgubi se ravnoteža i lako je moguće da padne sve na vas.
Vikendom izgledate retardirano svi.
Mi ne ubacujemo drogu u piće.
Ako vas sretnemo na ulici, a poslužili smo vam kafu ili piće, nismo obavezni da vas pozdravljamo i na ulici.
Inače ne čitamo s usana i misli, molio bih vas da se izrazite lijepo i glasno, ali ne glasno da galamite da svi čuju, šta pijete.
Možete dobiti papir i olovku, ali olovku biste trebali i da vratite.
Ako uđete u kafić u 7 sati, naručite kafu i date 100 eura, nemamo sitno da vam vratimo.
Ako ne znate šta biste popili, nema potrebe da zovete konobara i da stoji pored vas dok razmišljate.
Ne znamo broj od one djevojke za onim stolom.
Svjetla na fajrontu znače kraj i da napustite lokal, a ne da naručite piće. Imamo i mi život poslije posla.
Ako ste bezobrazni i glumite idiota, vjerovatno će vam se konobar sprdati.
Pitanje imamo li WC-e je najgluplje pitanje koje možete da postavite.
Nakon što završite s WC-om, morate da pustite vodu.
I da vas podsjetim, bakšiš nije grad u Turskoj.





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